Did Your Timer Go Off or Are You Happy to See Me?
I heard about the craziest thing on the Kane Show this morning. It’s a marriage bra to remind women about their goal. It has a countdown timer and a little compartment for an engagement ring. Once the timer is up, the little compartment containing the ring opens. You can set it for 6 months, 2 years. They’re being lame and not posting any sort of link but I think they’re talking about this.
One of the articles I linked said this is a blatant publicity stunt but mark my words if people are not clamoring for it. Real or not, there is a market for this and despite sleeping horribly last night I know this is a special sort of crazy. I will bet you money there are women all over the U.S. wondering when they can get one.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I will once again rip the wedding industry a new one.
This is just another crazy consumer product to feed into this notion that women must get married. Is there an equivalent device for men? Of course not. The idea itself is more laughable than the existence of this sick piece of lingerie.
Men and weddings are not financially viable. Men aren’t raised to idealize ceremony + party (that’s all a wedding is folks). They haven’t been force-fed these fairy tale illusions about relationships. Men rent a monkey suit, not drop $10,000 on a dress they’ll wear once.
I don’t find anything admirable about getting married. Getting married gets you my congratulations and best wishes. Staying married for years and still liking each other gets you my admiration. If your goal is to get married for the sake of getting married, I want in on the pool for the duration of your marriage.
I’d love to be married but it won’t be until I have a person who will be there for the fun adventures, bad times, and all my neurotic moments. It’s not because my boobs started beeping like the epic egg timer of awkward. If I saw a dude with the boxer briefs of matrimony I’d run like a blonde in a horror movie.
And you know the women who buy this perverted paraphernalia are the ones have $50,000 ceremonies in the $13,000 dresses for 3 year marriages. I want to see the math on some of these more lavish ceremonies. How much was each year of your marriage worth to the billion dollar industry?
If the wedding industry really wants to make a fortune and the U.S. wants to get better get marriage statistics, let gay people get married. I’ve met several lifers who can’t be legally married but have been together almost as long as I’ve been alive. Do you really think some of the more fabulous gay people would pass up having a reality-show worthy ceremony?