T is for The Tao of Dating by Dr. Ali Binazir. I got a mini ebook by the same fellow and it hyped that The Tao of Dating was the best selling dating guide on Amazon. I decided to see what he could offer me.
I will start right now by saying this isn’t your typical dating guide. It focused as much on personal development as it did with relating to the opposite sex. The book alternated chapters on how to improve your dating skills and how to better yourself as a person.
Binazir was not messing around when he titled his book. Taoism and the Tao Te Ching feature just as prominently as the dating advice. I really enjoyed the spiritual side that brought to this book. Back in 12th grade I had to do a project on Taoism (where it was drilled into that it was pronounced with a ‘D’ sound not a ‘T’ sound). It really resonated with me and it was spiritually soothing to see them again (mock if you must).
I didn’t agree with everything Dr. Binazir said. He wants women to honor the sacred feminine and have more passive roles in their loves lives at least in the pursuing stage. I’m currently working on I Do But I Don’t: Why the Way We Marry Matters by Kamy Wicoff.
Wicoff complained that men feel pressured to propose and fire back that women should let them do it in their own time. Women then have to fake nonchalance and be disingenuous to themselves so the men can feel true to themselves by proposing at their leisure. Dr. Binazir cited men proposing as one of the reasons women should hold back.
I think we need more balance in gender relationships but we also have to face the way the world is and try to make small changes. I’m not OK taking a completely passive role in my love life but I also have to recognize that I can’t control another person. Women either have to be OK playing a secondary role in their love lives or bucking gender norms consequences be damned. Personally, I’ll lay the groundwork and make it easy for him to ask but I never make the first real move.
Overall though, I really liked this book. I thought it had a lot to offer women on a couple of levels. Because the Tao Te Ching features so prominently, several pieces of the dating advice can also apply to life like being radiant or not over thinking. Since I had this on ebook I utilized the highlight and bookmark features. I can’t speak for how effective this will be at landing me men quite yet but I’ve got my eye on someone so we’ll see what happens.